Recess! Media

Today is Remember Your First Kiss Day. Now, everybody knows that talking about your first kiss is not talking about the first time you got a kiss. Because 99 times out of a hundred anybody’s first kiss was laid on them by their mother. And that might have been at about age 30 seconds.

And it doesn’t count to talk about the first time your father pecked you on the cheek, either. No. First kiss doesn’t have anything to do with someone related to you. That’s the point. A first kiss has to be from someone who is nowhere near blood kin, because then, and only then, does it mean you’ve finally gotten a bonafide 100% endorsement from the world that you are indeed loveable. What a relief! In fact, nothing is more important to a child standing on the bridge to adulthood. Like report cards and vaccinations, a first kiss is personal, good or not quite up to snuff, and forever yours.

If I am truthful, I’ll have to say that the first kiss I got was from my dog. Then there were all those spin the bottle parties. But those are a blur. I think we were more interested in spinning the bottle, letting it land on someone, and going into a private corner of a dark room and thinking about kissing rather than really doing the deed. And then of course when we came out of the dark private room, everyone sitting there holding the bottle and waiting looked at us and said “oooooh”. The sound of “oooooh” was way more important than anything else.

So to get down to the nitty gritty, I’d have to say my first kiss was when I was fifteen. And since I say nitty gritty right away I am telling you that my first kiss came in the early 60’s. I can say, too, it was stolen.

A boy in my neighborhood who was a year older than I was stood at the back fence of my yard in the dusk of a June night when as yet the mosquitoes were not out. We were talking about who I knew in his class at school and who he knew who was in mine. We went on talking about all those other people until dark came and we could barely see each other and the mosquitoes came and we both started slapping all over our bodies like crazy. But still we did not go inside. Instead, I got closer to him and he got closer to me until there was nothing between us but a cyclone fence, which then he reached over so that… well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

But now that I think about it, I guess that first kiss wasn’t really stolen. It was more like it was shoplifted. Or well, I guess I better stop beating around the bush and tell the truth. It was magic.